Verbal Vomit! (A Random, LONG Journal of the Past Week)

I haven't been on here since Tuesday and it seems as if a lot has happened since then, so here it goes! Bear with me! Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I went to the gym. Thursday night we had plans to get together with some friends, and I knew that since we were meeting up at one of those roadhouse restaurants (the ones where you throw the peanuts on the ground), I had better do something before that night! So, with it being a full day, I did a Pilates video during my lunch break. I know it seems silly, but I don't like to do workout videos at home when my husband is around. I don't think he'd make fun of me, but I'd be self conscious, none-the-less. So, I let the dogs out so they wouldn't be in my way and I began to workout. (And for the record, I don't like to do Pilates in public either...I just feel self-conscious trying to do some of those positions when it's all I can do to maintain my balance). I did have an audience though...my cat Roxanne....she sat there and watched me the entire time. Whenever I was feeling the burn, it helped to look at her staring back at me with a look of mild amusement on her face. I think she was also eye-balling the resistance band, so after the workout, I let her have at it!

I felt more at ease after the workout, knowing that I had done something to counter-act the evening. When we got to the restaurant, I didn't really see anything particularly healthy (and as I've learned over the course of the past 6 weeks...salads are NOT what they seem)! So, I ordered a 60z sirloin with steamed veggies and a side salad with the ranch on the side. That in itself wasn't incredibly awful...the two buttery yeast rolls were! We were all having a blast and catching up when my friend Kirsten (who is expecting and therefore gets cravings at the drop of a hat) says, "Hey let's go to Coldstone!" And my response was "Sure!!" (Why not gain some sympathy pounds along with my friend--even though the pounds look much more adorable on her than me)!! Did I order the sorbet, or a healthy smoothie...um, heck no!! I ordered an "All Lovin', No Oven." It's cake batter ice-cream with cookie dough, fudge and whipped cream mixed in:


Now, when I was eating it, every single bite was delectable. Probably some of the best ice-cream I've had in a very long time. The fact that I haven't touched ice-cream since 2009 made it that much better. However, when I got home I felt like a big, fat failure. Words can't even describe how heavy my conscience was. Even more so when I totaled up my points...an estimated 56 points after the workout. That is over TWICE of what I'm allowed in a day...and my allowance points were already down the tube after Monday night's Margarita con Comida Mexicana episode. Now, I'm a realistic person and I realize that every now and then we are allowed to have a splurge. But the whole month of February has been nothing but splurging!! Thursday night's epic failure made me step back and evaluate why I've been gradually undoing all of my hard work from January:

1. The honeymoon period is drawing to a close. My resolve is getting weaker and my new lifestyle is no longer a novelty, but a pain in the butt as I have to face one real-life scenario after another.

2. I am a social eater/drinker. I do much better at home, but when I see friends stuffing their faces with foods that look far more appetizing than what I'm eating, I want to join in on the fun. My husband always told me that I tend to give in to peer pressure...I can't believe I'm saying this but, "Honey, you are right!!"

3. I have been living life in the fast lane (hence my sporadic posts lately). It's more difficult to take good care of myself when I'm lacking in time and energy. It's also harder to log onto here and write blogs and read my other friends blogs. I've found a good deal of friendship and accountability in the blogosphere, and when I've been away from it, I haven't been as motivated. (Oh and thanks "Journey" for your concern...it made me feel warm and fuzzy...I didn't realize people anticipated my posts)! :)

4. I got cocky. As soon as I began to hear compliments such as "Wow your face looks thinner...your jeans look baggy....your stomach looks smaller" it went straight to my head. I began to have the mindset that I was looking better and therefore didn't have to work as hard. (Which is a joke because I still have over 40 pounds to go)!!

5. I know this sounds preposterous, but I blame some of this on the weather. When I'm snowed in, it makes me crave comfort foods. Can anyone say Cracker Barrel on a cold winter's night?! Or cinnamon buns or baked brownies when you are snowed in and have cabin fever!!

Now that I've made these realizations, I need to have a plan. I decided NOT to weigh myself on Friday morning. I know some of you may not agree with that decision, but I know myself well enough to understand that if I saw my weight climb up or stay the same it was only going to add to my guilt trip and bring me down even more. I'm going to have a plan for the rest of the month:

1. NO eating out until March. Absolutely none (except for one lunch date that I made a couple of weeks ago And Candie is the kind of friend who is willing to go somewhere in which there are healthy options). Other than that, absolutely NO eating out!!! At home, I have more control over what I eat and I'm not faced with temptation. This will also benefit our bank account. The only possible exception may be our weekly traditional Sunday lunch at Moes...in which I know the exact amount of points in my favorite item, The Triple Lindy Jr....8 points.

2. I will workout at least 5 days per week. (I will say I accomplished this goal this past week, including going to a 5am spin class on Friday morning to counteract Thursday night's binge. Yes, Julie, the night owl, voluntarily went to the gym at 5am...*gasp*) If I can't make it to the gym, I will workout at home.

3. I will continue to write down EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth. On Weight Watchers you are allowed 35 allowance points to give you some leverage each week. If you choose not to use them, it expedites your weight loss. I will try to the best of my ability to NOT tap into those points. My workouts will redeem extra points each day, and I'll rely on those instead.

4. I'm quitting my second part-time job. Most of you know that I work at an animal hospital, doing a little bit of everything (which is the awesomest job ever...I get to hang out with cats and dogs all day)! I also have a part-time job at Pier 1, on Monday and Friday mornings. However, working a 3 hour shift doesn't justify the little tiny bit of money I make (and all of my paycheck goes right back into that store). Especially when I'm working during the little bit of free-time I would have. So, I put in my two weeks notice Friday. That time will be more wisely invested with working out, cleaning my sadly neglected house, and hunting down awesome deals at the grocery stores...oh how I've missed couponing and stealing some deals!!

5. I'm not going to step on the scale until March. I'm going to focus on how I feel/look. I also know the crimson tide will be arriving soon and will only discourage me more.

6. I'm going to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day!!

7. I'm going to commit to logging on here every day for at least 30 minutes.

Alright guys!! Now I feel more motivated...I'm sorry for the long post, I just needed to get it out of my system!! And Corletta just called me and said the gym was now open, SO I'm going to meet up with my girl and workout! Have a wonderful weekend!!