Motivation Vs. Habit

Motivation...we all know what it means. Dictionary.com sums the word up as "interest, drive, incentive". Something that I have been lacking for quite some time. Even though I said in my last post (from August 9th) that I was going to get back into the swing of things, that didn't happen. I guess I was just waiting to feel inspired. Which, I've realized, it doesn't usually happen that way. Sometimes to become motivated, you have to start out rather mechanically, simply placing one foot in front of the other. Trying to "get" motivation is like trying to grasp the fog. Usually the people I know that are driven, intense, and goal-oriented are not ones that are conditional and base their actions on what they're feeling at the moment..the circumstances may suck, they may not feel like putting forth the effort, but they square their shoulders and focus on their goal despite the odds.

Recently, I thought about what motivated me in the first place. There were the obvious reasons:

1. I want to wear a two peice again, instead of a soccer-mommish tankini.

2. I want to enjoy shopping for clothes again, instead of nearly having a nervous breakdown every time I try on clothes in the dressing room.

3. I want to feel regain my self-confidence and like what I see in the mirror.

4. I want to improve my health and increase my life-span.

Then there were more personal reasons:

1. I'm tired of always avoiding pictures...I want to look back on my life and be able to tangibly hold onto those memories.

2. I want to have children one day, and I refuse to even try until my body is in a healthier state.

There is a quote that I love, "Motivation is what gets you started, and habit is what keeps you going." Well, what I've realized is that those two are very much connected. If I get out of the habit, I quickly lose motivation. And if I'm not motivated, it's hard to stick with a habit. It is only until I reach square one (or square two, which is awfully close to square one) that I begin to gain inspiration again. Why must it be so polarized?? Seriously, it's giving me whiplash!

So yesterday, after stepping on the scale and realizing that I'm back up to 162 (which is 9 pounds from my lowest weight this year, and 7 pounds higher than what I've averaged most of the summer) I realized it was time to get my butt back in gear. I can't say I felt terribly driven yesterday, but I knew that I have worked too hard and too long to throw all of that away. What a discouragement it would be to gain all 20 of those pounds back, especially considering that I was almost halfway to my goal.

So, I put one foot in front of the other, and went to the gym and attended a cycling class. I had that nervous, first day back to school feeling, and I can't really describe why. I'm a very outgoing person, but for some reason the gym and church are the two places where I always feel a bit shy and ackward...maybe it's because I feel like I'm being scrutinized in both of those scenarios (nothing against the church I attend , or to my gym...I've just always felt that way). Anyways, I am very glad I went...spin class kicked my butt, but the endorphins were defintely worth it!

So back to that quote...I'm certainly not as gung-ho as I was January 1st (I'm sure I speak for a lot of people there). However, I'm more inspired than I was a few days, or a few weeks ago Perhaps the reverse of that quote can be true as well..."Habit is what gets you started, and motivation is what keeps you going." That's at least going to be my mantra for now!